Saturday, August 2, 2014

Never too old to learn....




We are halfway through our hosting commitment to V. What have we learned? Well, for one, that we are NEVER to old to learn :) Parenting two totally different kids we mistakenly thought we had all the tools we needed to parent a third for the summer. However, this special boy comes with some very unique challenges. He comes from a world with no "I'm sorry's". Humility and weakness are the WORST things you can display in an orphanage. You will be a huge target. So, thousands and thousands of children grow up not knowing how to resolve conflicts (even small ones). They only know how to escalate situations. These kids only know how to withdraw, fight and distance themselves from the one thing they want the most, LOVE!! We have been struggling, for the past 4 weeks with V with conflict resolution. The slightest disappointment would set him off and he would sulk, pout, refuse to eat, hide in the bushes etc..... for HOURS. He is a pretty dedicated pouter :) Now my inner parent knows just how to take care of such things from my typically raised younguns' but alas some things are not allowed for host kids. So, we sought God like never before. We were exhausted from his meltdowns, he was exhausted and so were our kids. God is so good and faithful! My heart was tapped out. I was ready to be done. BUT GOD. He put a new song in our hearts and set our feet on solid ground. God showed us that emotionally V is like a 2 yr. old. Once we started addressing the behavior like you would a 2 yr. old things started to change. He had no word for "I'm sorry". So, we practiced, he did it and he was amazed the incidents were over and didn't end in hiding under the bed for hours or midnight calls to his translators. We are practicing breathing techniques to calm down. We talk about what the roles of men and women are (NO CLUE). He is very teachable which helps. Amazingly, God brought me the "feelings" I wanted to have to get through the next 4 weeks. I know we will have setbacks, but he has gone 6 days with no major instances and that is huge. Our prayer is that he will take these lessons back with him and grow in the Lord. He has a hunger for God's word and we know God will not leave his children.

One last thing, yesterday, V asked me for a baby doll. He has never asked me to buy him anything at the store but cherries but he wanted a baby doll. He is 12, and a boy. But, it further proved to us just how emotionally stunted these kids are. He has loved on, fed, kissed and rocked that baby. He named it after his father who passed away last year. He has learned that when it cries, you don't just walk out of the room and shut the door but rock it and give it a bottle. Things he would have never learned in his orphanage, we have the privilege to teach him, hopefully helping to end the cycle of orphans having orphans. We are so thankful for a God who answers a prayer for wisdom and gives us stamina to do what is right when we are empty. We are so glad we didn't give up when it got bad. We appreciate your prayers for the rest of the hosting. We can't wait to see how much more he will grow and learn and how much more we will grow and learn.

6 comments:

Diana said...

I am singing the doxology after reading this. Its a never-ending, awe-inducing personal loving God we serve and worship! He gives wisdom to those who seek it, and the application of it always glorifies the Lord.

Meagan Blews said...

Somehow I missed all this and your last post. Praying like never before for you and Mike and for continued healing in V's heart. Praying you see more fruit these last weeks, but mostly that God will strengthen your faith when you can't see. I know V's life will be better because of this summer with you...and God will bless you for taking the journey so many don't have the faith to take. Thanks for sharing!

JennyJohnson said...

Just hallelujah and praise to the God of wisdom and understanding!

Lydia said...

Oh Martha! This is my favorite post of yours yet! I am going to send it to several people I know who are struggling with these same things. You are a wonderful example of grace, God's grace to you and your grace to others.

Jenn said...

Praise God! Thank you + your family for stepping up + planting seeds into Vs life! May He know Daddy's love all the days of his life! Praying + believing BIG for him!

Amy said...

Very cool, Martha!